Available for podcast – Thursday 2nd September
Broadcast RTÉ Radio 1 – Saturday 4th September @ 2pm ( Repeat TBC)
Documentary On One: I’ll Send You Butterflies tells the story of a woman’s journey through a rapid and fatal illness and her family’s determination to care for her, in spite of the challenges of her illness and the COVID 19 pandemic.
Until October 2019 Margaret Tynan was a healthy, active woman in her seventies. Still working part-time as a market researcher, she spent the rest of her time travelling, reading, volunteering and minding her grandchildren. After getting a pain in her neck and noticing a growing stiffness in her right hand, one of Margaret’s lungs suddenly collapse
After months of investigations, on 13th March 2020, the day that Ireland closed down due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Margaret was given a shocking and terminal diagnosis – Motor Neuron Disease. Even though Margaret and her family had heard of MND, they knew very little about it. They soon learned that this rare, rapid and fatal condition attacks the nerves that control movement so the muscles no longer work. They also discovered that while Margaret’s gripping had been affected and her breathing was slightly impaired, this disease would likely affect her ability to walk, dress or feed herself and one day she might not be able to move or speak. Margaret would effectively be locked into her own body.
For an outgoing and active woman like Margaret, whose job involved talking and travelling, this news was unimaginable. In Mary-Elaine’s words, knowing that your mother will get progressively sicker until she dies is like “a slow train approaching -all you can do it watch. And wait.”
Mary-Elaine has made several radio documentaries before, including one about her father. So, on hearing the news about her diagnosis, the family decided that Mary-Elaine would document Margaret and the family’s journey in the coming weeks and months.
The very intimate, fly-on-the-wall documentary follows Margaret and her family’s lives in 2020 as they try to keep up with the rapid progress of MND, in addition to dealing with COVID-19 restrictions. We listen as Margaret struggles to come to terms with the sudden loss of independence and witness the family’s race against time, to install a downstairs bathroom and bedroom so Margaret can have her wish to stay at home for as long as possible.
In the midst of this Margaret is determined to have the difficult conversations “How long do I have left?” she asks the Motor Neuron team before wondering aloud if it’s worth going to the trouble of “ripping the house apart” to install a new bathroom and bedroom if she only has a short time.
As the months go by and Margaret’s condition worsens, the family are faced with more physical and emotional challenges; caring for Margaret as she can no longer move her legs, talk or eventually dress or feed herself, all the while still being painfully aware of everything that is happening but often unable to express herself, as her voice fades.
At the best of times, caring for a loved one can exhausting; mentally, physically and emotionally. In 2020, in the height of a pandemic, with very few people allowed into the house, the family are faced with an excruciating challenge. Such is the extent of this illness that Margaret’s family (her elderly husband Dick, her children Richard, Paula and Mary-Elaine and her grandchildren from Dublin, Cork and Waterford) will all put their lives on hold to care for her, with the help of carers and the local hospice.
Once resilient and determined to maintain her independence, as Margaret’s condition deteriorates and she is now only able to communicate by speaking single, occasional words or (more frequently) pointing at a letter board to spell out her words, she refers to MND as “A long, slow death” and reveals “I’m not afraid to die, I’m afraid of living”.
Documentary on One: I’ll Send you Butterflies is a raw and emotional documentary which follows the heart-breaking journey of a woman and her family who must navigate the seismic changes in all their lives and prepare for the inevitable loss of the matriarch of the family.